Ted and Ronnie's Snooping Adventure

Ted Emails Ronnie WRight and Gets Snooped:

Hey, Mike Ronnie

Ed Snowden is the new Patrick Henry! And, hey, a lot more people than just you and me know that. Millions of people worldwide know that. It's the Second American Revolution where freedom and liberty mean nothing without the truth. You know who can't seem to understand or just respect that? Bad people. And most of the people we American citizens have entrusted with our grand North American Republic and its cherished heritage are nothing but a bunch of dark-souled bad-asses.

Funny, isn't it, how they think they can do whatever the fuck they damn well please like it was fucking FREE or something. Crimes against nature and humanity are never free. There's always a payback. Those stupid NSA fuckers are so afraid of terrorists that they think spying on ol' mom and pop at home and at work will solve their stupid paranoia problems when all they have to do is keep the fucking Arabs and Russians OUT of the United States! It's pretty fucking simple. And obviously clear. That's why nobody gets it.

Yep, the truth is right under their noses and everywhere else as well. And it always was. That's why you-know-who wrote Blind Fool Running and The Truth Is a Lone Assassin. And that's why 96 Snoop Dogs took it for free from Amazon's Kindle Store during you-know-who's 1-Day My Gift To You FREE Promotion (yes, really free) on June 10, 2013 and who then hid the knowledge they contained from the world and each other like a bunch of hateful little shitten scaredy cats who'd been caught with their dirty, lying, cheating pants down. These bottom feeders wouldn't shell out a measly $2.99 for the real McCoy (the bought and paid for ebook). But they'd have no problem spending a couple bills a week on pot, booze, porn or whores and not even bat an eye. Fuck them.

Y'know, I don't think the NSA gets our little joke about the calico cat and how Google reads our email even before the NSA does and uses keywords like "cat" to tack dumb-ass Purina cat chow ads onto our email messages. But who cares, huh? Fuck them, too. And, oh yeah, that shit about the queers and lesbians. Well, that's not bullshit. The world is being run by people who misuse everything that's natural and nothing is more unnatural than a homo snoop dog with a dark soul.

So, yeah, my calico cat is still dead but I wouldn't watch anything on the Hallmark Channel just so I could cleanse my dark-ass soul with a two-hour therapeutic crying jag. That's for those ball-busting bitches who like to show their feminine side to each other and then go right back to being hateful ball-busting bitches on daytime TV. Hell, I'd rather watch a news report on TV where praying mantis people from outer space just set Hollywood, Las Vegas, Benghazi and Minsk on fire with their minds and when all the perverted queers and lesbians and hateful camel jockeys and nasty Ivans and NSA homo snoop dogs came running up out of their basement hiding holes the same bad-ass space bugs melted the little fuckers from the feet up with a super microwave ray or something and when they finally died and their dark-ass souls died, too, they went, "REEEEEEEEEEEE!" Just like that liquid metal terminator at the end of Terminator 2. What a fucking pipe dream. But that would sure solve a lot of our planet's problems. Wouldn't it now?

Yours truly,

Ted

Ronnie WRight Replies to Ted and Gets Snooped:

Oh my god yes. Ain't it the truth.

Later, Mike Ronnie2 Ted

Ronnie 1
(So, am I Ronnie 1 or Ronnie 2 now? Christ, I can't remember all this secret spy shit. Are we done yet?)