Quebec

I like summer but when it gets above 85 degrees I start to get in a bad mood, y'know? Yeah, that's right, on top of my already foul personality. Glad I said it before you did.

Anyway, it's so hot today that I wanted to recall a really neat childhood memory about Quebec, Canada. Yeah, "neat". Just like "WASP" baby-boomer Diane Keaton said in that pathetic-piece-of-neurotic-Woody-Allen-shit movie Annie Hall. The word that made paintywaist "Alvie Singer" jump all over her in a fucking hissy fit because she used it. Yeah, I said the WASP word, and for obvious reasons. That's right, it's a horrible 1960's acronym mouthed by racists and bigots and then glibly used oh-so-casually by WASP-hating Woody Allen (in the guise of the pathetic, neurotic, piece-of-shit Alvie Singer).

But what I heard and saw was what I think is the real Woody Allen. In Annie Hall, Woody Allen showed us all just how hateful he really is toward anyone who isn't just like him. Fucking redneck. WASP means White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Now tell us, Woody, which of those words bothers you the most? Probably all of them. Well, fuck Woody Allen. Little hissy-fit twerp. Every time I want to say the word "neat" I'm momentarily mentally blocked by whiner Woody Allen's racist, snide remark. Little fucker. Neat. Neat. Neatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatfuckingneat. S i g h.

Yeah, "neat" basically means "cool" to us baby boomers. Cool. Nifty. Neat. Yeah, I like the word "neat". I think it's neat as hell. Christ. Now I'm way off the goddamn track here. Just because I like to use the word "neat". Who cares what hateful people think of me for using a word I like?

Anyway (back on track), I figured that there'd be a lot of snobs out there who wouldn't like the way I pronounce Quebec. Like Kwee-Beck. The American way. So, then I decided to tell the story on video. That's right, so you could actually hear the American English pronunciation of the Canadian province of Québec. I know damn well the Canadians and the French pronounce it "Ke-beck" and I have no problem whatsoever with that. That's the French pronunciation. That's the original, genuine article there. But, I'm not French or Canadian. I'm an American from Pennsylvania's Allegheny Plateau Region. I say Kwee-freakin'-Beck. All right? Get over it.

Anyway, as I was telling the story, I could just see you uppity snobs squirming and pointing your fingers and laughing your hateful butts off. So, I cut the damn thing short. But not before I added a little something extra. And, yeah, I forgot to use the word "neat" in the video! Can you fucking believe it? Well, some day I'll making another fucking video about Quebec and all I'll say about it is "Neat!", over and over and over again, for two or three goddamn minutes. That'll show that fucking Woody Allen that Annie Hall isn't the only American who says, "Neat!".