Quebec

I like summer but when it gets above 85 degrees I start to get in a bad mood, y'know? Yeah, that's right, on top of my already foul personality. Glad I said it before you did.

Anyway, it's so hot today that I wanted to recall a really neat childhood memory about Quebec, Canada. Yeah, "neat". Just like "WASP" baby-boomer Diane Keaton said in that pathetic-piece-of-neurotic-Woody-Allen-shit movie Annie Hall. The word that made paintywaist "Alvie Singer" jump all over her in a fucking hissy fit because she used it. Yeah, I said the WASP word, and for obvious reasons. That's right, it's a horrible 1960's acronym mouthed by racists and bigots and then glibly used oh-so-casually by WASP-hating Woody Allen (in the guise of the pathetic, neurotic, piece-of-shit Alvie Singer).

But what I heard and saw was what I think is the real Woody Allen. In Annie Hall, Woody Allen showed us all just how hateful he really is toward anyone who isn't just like him. Fucking redneck. WASP means White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Now tell us, Woody, which of those words bothers you the most? Probably all of them. Well, fuck Woody Allen. Little hissy-fit twerp. Every time I want to say the word "neat" I'm momentarily mentally blocked by whiner Woody Allen's racist, snide remark. Little fucker. Neat. Neat. Neatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatfuckingneat. S i g h.

Yeah, "neat" basically means "cool" to us baby boomers. Cool. Nifty. Neat. Yeah, I like the word "neat". I think it's neat as hell. Christ. Now I'm way off the goddamn track here. Just because I like to use the word "neat". Who cares what hateful people think of me for using a word I like?

Anyway (back on track), I figured that there'd be a lot of snobs out there who wouldn't like the way I pronounce Quebec. Like Kwee-Beck. The American way. So, then I decided to tell the story on video. That's right, so you could actually hear the American English pronunciation of the Canadian province of Québec. I know damn well the Canadians and the French pronounce it "Ke-beck" and I have no problem whatsoever with that. That's the French pronunciation. That's the original, genuine article there. But, I'm not French or Canadian. I'm an American from Pennsylvania's Allegheny Plateau Region. I say Kwee-freakin'-Beck. All right? Get over it.

Anyway, as I was telling the story, I could just see you uppity snobs squirming and pointing your fingers and laughing your hateful butts off. So, I cut the damn thing short. But not before I added a little something extra. And, yeah, I forgot to use the word "neat" in the video! Can you fucking believe it? Well, some day I'll making another fucking video about Quebec and all I'll say about it is "Neat!", over and over and over again, for two or three goddamn minutes. That'll show that fucking Woody Allen that Annie Hall isn't the only American who says, "Neat!".

Face Off

Getting Ticked

Ticked

Totally Ticked Off

When I'm not on video, these are the only three pictures you'll see of me. Their meanings are shown above, from left to right. Too bad I lost the post about Delta Airlines and Saudi Arabia and the post about the pat-down of that 95-year-old mother in Texas. Oh, well, I'm sure I can find more to piss and moan about in the months to come. There's a lot of shit to piss and moan about and somebody's gotta do it.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Ted O'Hooey, here. I'm an old crank who used to have a website and by the time I got around to posting a welcome video there all my posts mysteriously disappeared. And I have no copies of them. Then the video page appeared with video and no audio. Then the video disappeared. Then I disappeared.

I reappeared today at Blogger, a refugee from the Illuminati. Those goddam Illuminati pricks hate hicks from places like Pennsylvania more than anybody because we're not supposed to know shit from Shinola and when we figure anything out the bastards pull the plug on us. They just assumed we're nothing but a bunch of hateful rednecks who like to whine and cry. Well, unfortunately, some of us are. But not me. No, I see a lot of unnecessary shit happening out there and it ticks me off. So, I piss and moan out loud about it.

Hey, you'll never see any "X-Rated" material on this blog. I have about as much tolerance for that crap as I do for real crap. That term ought to insult adults everywhere. Like being an "adult" means you don't have any thoughts above your waist. Better stow that attitude before you get here or you'll just waste your time and mine. But you will encounter some adult language here, especially when I'm spouting off about the shit in this world that nobody has to put up with. Or when I embed a video by someone else and they're spouting off about the shit this world tries to feed you, just so a bunch of privileged assholes can make a lousy, goddamn buck.

All right, then. Now you know that you will encounter some very strong language every now and then. You can take that to the bank. When you're as old and cranky and as ticked off as me, watching your P's and Q's is not high on your bucket list. If you don't like my P's and Q's, hit the road. (I hate using an apostrophe with Ps and Qs because it's improper grammar but hardly anybody knows that an apostrophe implies "possession" or "belonging to", not the plural of any word).

Just like the word kidnaped. Most people spell it wrong. If the accent is on the first syllable, then you don't double the consonant in the second syllable. But, if the accent is on the second syllable, then you do double the ending consonant. Thus: kidnaped. Thus: occurred. That's American English as opposed to British English. The British double the ending consonants on such words but Americans do not. Get used to it. Even Blogger's "spell checker" has it wrong. Limeys must have written it. Hey! If they can call us "Yanks" we can call them limeys. Get over it. Christ.

So, this was supposed to be my welcome video for my website — which is now just a bad memory — and it'll have to do as my welcome video for my new blog here at Blogger, as well. Why don't I do a new video? Because I don't feel like it. I'm like George Patton in that respect. I don't like paying for the same real estate twice. So, either tune in the video or don't. It's no skin off my ass either way.

By the way, I'll be tinkering with this blog anytime I get the urge so it has my personal touch all over it, including a new, personalized header. So, hey, don't say you haven't been warned.