By George, He's Right

George Carlin isn't the only person who feels this way. Would you believe it? Some people have known this shit for years. Oh, yeah. Some people even know more about the real source of this fucking shit than George Carlin does. Want some fucking proof? Just click here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or here.

Poetic Rage

Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without notice to anyone.

One Man's Vision Is Another Man's Wish

No, I don't have a goddamn crystal ball at my house. If I had a fool-ass crystal ball I'd use it for a fucking doorstop, not to cheat others out of their hard-earned income. Anyone who has a crystal ball and sees visions is just some delusional shit, anyway, who likes to play games for money instead of working for it. That's right, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" you dumb shits or you'll get duped like Dorothy did. Christ, at least Kansas is real.

No, I don't see visions and I don't make wishes. But, if wishes did come true, this is my biggest wish (see the above explosion). Somehow, it makes me feel like I'd have done something good for the rest of the universe when I'd dare to "wish upon a star" for Earth and it's human blight to just go away forever. Oh yeah, I'm even willing to have my own goddamn atoms blasted to Kingdom Come by Planet X if it'll keep the rest of the galaxy from being infected by creatures who only care about themselves.

Christ it's weird to make a desperate wish that turns out to be some asshole's dumb-fuck "vision". But, since Earth is definitely a goner as a world contender in this strange universe of ours — and it's our own dumb fault — I feel kinda good about biting a cosmic bullet if it'll help some worthy soul in another galaxy far, far away.

"Junk TV" Celebrity Showcase

View the photo album at Picasa

Happy Valley Shockwave

And you think my behavior is shocking? Jesus Christ, if you want to see truly shocking behavior, just click on the little shocked man in the yellow hardhat below to see what real shocking behavior is all about. That's right, Penn State students doing what they do best.

Christ, when rioting college students are permitted to take to the streets and smash things at will and throw rocks at other people and destroy other people's vehicles and public property just because they're "unhappy" with something and then never get punished for their behavior, the shocking behavior isn't just from the pampered-punk students.

God Almighty! People in "Happy Valley" can't see the fucking forest but it's not for all the fucking trees. They can't see past their own self-centered interests. They are the number one reason they're all alive and moving and shaking their little utopian world. What selfish, uncivilized crap. Man, do you fucking rat bastards ever deserve each other over there in "Happy Valley".

Just make sure you keep that nasty shit to yourselves. The rest of the world — the real world — considers rioting to be dangerous violence and a lethal threat to others. And that's because, in the real world, any redneck asshole from anywhere in America knows that you just can't up and do whatever you damn well please in public without paying the price. That's right. In the real world, rioters are beaten and dragged off to jail. It's what hateful, hostile, reckless, violent people fucking deserve. And you goddamn well know it.

"Happy Valley" My Ass

Jesus Christ, I never wanted to post anything like this on my blog. Not ever. But, if I don't, then I'll be just like everybody else who turns their back on crimes against humanity and especially on crimes against children, like they don't exist. Like this is about the downfall of powerful men instead of the pain and suffering of children at the hands of a sexual predator, betraying his trust with them and with an entire community of dumb-fuck Pollyanna shitheads who are apparently too fucking "happy" and too full of themselves to know when a crime is being committed there.

And, hey, you saw the warning in red lettering beneath this blog's header. I don't watch my goddamn "P's and Q's" here and you goddamn well know it. Nobody pays any attention to you if you don't shock them or scare them and that's what I do. So, if you want the watered-down shit, try the newspapers or go watch it on TV. This kind of crime needs to be ferreted out by a cranky old bastard like me who's more concerned with the underlying truth and the lies that cover them up than kissing asses that can't stand to be hurt by the truth. So, if you don't like "my French", take a fucking hike.

That's right, Jerry Sandusky is the the real demon here. No fucking question about it. Christ, it's time for Pennsylvania to bring back the goddamn electric chair, just for this fucker. Let me pull the fucking switch myself. Or, better yet, let the moms and dads of the sexually abused victims do it. Over and over again. Or, better yet, let the boys whose human rights this pedophile piece of shit violated take turns zapping his worthless ass to Kingdom Come.

Penn State Football

"Rogue's Gallery"

Let's remember, they're the real victims here. Those young boys. Not Penn State Football or PSU's tarnished image. Fuck Penn State. It's been the number one "party school" for decades. Now we know why. Hell, if sexual crimes against underage boys are perpetrated right on the Penn State main campus and then condoned or overlooked or covered up or simply ignored, no goddamn wonder nobody in "Happy Valley" gave a shit when drunken students set fire to downtown State College in 1998. Jesus Christ Almighty, what a fucking town.

And, yeah, let's not split hairs or become ostriches here about this sensitive and sick shit. Jerry Sandusky is the real criminal here. No question about it. The death penalty is too good for this sick fuck but, unfortunately, it's the best we can do, here, in "America the Beautiful". But Penn State President Graham Spanier, PSU Athletic Director Tim Curley and Penn State Senior Vice President Gary Schultz are also guilty of the crime of failing to report Sandusky's sick crimes to the police, first of all, and then to the proper authorities in Harrisburg. Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno reported one incident to the proper authorities at Penn State and, thus, got away with minimal responsibility. Instead of being a real man and going after Jerry Sandusky, tooth and nail.

And let's not forget assistant football coach Mike McQueary — then Joe Paterno's 28-year-old grad assistant — who chose to save his own butt and perform "damage control" for JoePa instead of doing the right thing. In Pennsylvania, it's legal to shoot and kill anyone who is raping anyone. If I'd have been Mike McQueary and had caught Jerry Sandusky raping a ten-year-old boy in a football locker room shower on Penn State's main campus in 2002, he'd never have lived past that twisted moment. And the next people to see that boy would have been the Penn State Police.

That's exactly what I'm saying. 28-year-old Mike McQueary should have killed kiddie-raper Jerry Sandusky on the spot with his bare hands and then called 9-1-1. Or at least have pulled that hideous monster off that poor boy. Jesus H. Christ! Doesn't anybody at this backward university "get it" yet?? Anything short of saving that boy from further sexual abuse was an act of cowardice, self-preservation and ass-kissing "damage control". You're all a bunch of fucking "me first" bastards who have no place in our 21st-Century American culture.

We all know why this was kept "Hush Hush". To keep the Penn State Football Dream alive-and-well and to keep the big football bucks rolling in. The bottom line. You fucking bastards. You can escape the hands of justice, you can even escape the fickle goddamn finger of fate, but you can never escape your own Karma. It'll get you all in the end. And you all deserve it. Yep, look at them. Just look at them. In their selfish world, this is all about them. What shit.

"Happy Valley", my goddamn ass. There is no "Happy Valley", Pennsylvania. Fuck "Happy Valley". I wouldn't go to "Happy Valley" to take a fucking shit.

Guilty on 48 Counts
June 22, 2012

New York Times — N.C.A.A Penalizes Penn State

Associated Press — N.C.A.A. Penalizes Penn State

Philadelphia Inquirer — PSU Gets Accreditation Warning

Sandusy Gets 30 - 60 years in Prison

Pennsylvania Revokes Sandusky's Pension

Spanier, Schultz and Curley Charged With Five Counts

Former Penn State Leaders Charged in Sandusky Case

More Penn State News from USA Today

Post updated 11-1-12.

Ronnie WRight

So, you don't believe there are people from outer space or that there's life on other planets, huh?

Don't worry. You've got plenty of company.

No, not me, you dumb shit. I know better.

"Ronnie WRight"
a SciFiFoFum production

The Time is WRight

I know this guy Ronnie who makes me look like Albert Einstein in comparison. His full name is Ronald W. Wright but everybody in town calls him Ronnie, even though he's in his late fifties. Here in the Allegheny Plateau, like most places in Appalachia, men never really grow up. That's the way we like it. Then we can get away with all kinds of shit just because boys will be boys. Man, I love that lame-ass line.

Anyway, Ronnie let me alter his last name a bit for this promo vid and for the actual video, which I intend to post in early October. He's so dumb that he agreed to appear in my next video just so I can show people that only a dumb fuck like him thinks there aren't any people on other planets.

Ronnie's so freakin' dumb he thinks I don't believe in them, either. He thinks I'm just talkin' shit. God, I love this guy. Every cranky old bastard ought to have a pal like Ronnie WRight. I'm even using his mug to draw traffic to my page at the Junk TV website. Hell, it's better than having a fuckin' ad on the FOX Network.

WoWAGreatBigRocket!

Yeah, I heard "the big news" the other day. Umm hmm. How'd ya think I'd react? I'm not a ten-year-old boy. Or a NASA bigwig, either, spooning out shit by the bucketful to a gullible American public that just can't seem to get enough of those noisy, big-ass NASA rockets.

Yeah, great big rockets. And all the ballyhoo and hullabaloo that goes along with them. Like 20th-century window dressing, false patriotism and government cover-ups. That's right. I'm a grownup. I can see through transparent people. And, like a grownup, I can't get all excited about something that can eventually be made into a Lego toy.

What about you?

And, yep, I did all the sound effects myself, separately, and then dubbed them in afterward. It's amazing what you can do with a five-dollar stick mike from Big Lots wrapped in a MacGregor sports sock, lots of spit and a free sound recorder downloaded from the Web.

And, no, I wasn't holding my cigar upside down. It's a cigar, not a fuckin' rocket. Besides, I tried that and the goddamn hot ashes went all over the goddamn place. Hey, unlike NASA, I'm on a shoe string budget, here. So, if it doesn't look and sound like high-end shit to you, go peddle your papers. It's no skin off my ass either way.

So, you finally noticed the "Filmed on Loaction" credit at the end. Was it a pun? Well, gee, if it was a pun I guess I'd be saying that this particular video is in "Lo Action" instead of HD, right? Or was it just a typo? Or maybe there's some hidden biblical reference or a code that'll put you in a freethinker matrix. If you can figure out the fucking code.

Or maybe "loaction" is a new high-end video-making process that you'll want to die for! Especially if everyone else has it and you don't. In that case, why does the video look so Low-Def, huh? I'd say LMAO if I didn't think that the flourishing use of chatroom acronyms is earmarking the downfall of western civilization. But how would you know that if you use them all the time because you can't spell real words worth a damn? Huh? OK, you nitpickers can chew on that thing awhile. Me? I've got other fuckin' fish to fry.

Twin Towers: The Presidents Who Shagged Us

Freddie Was No Abe Lincoln

People can do what the hell they want with their lives as long as they don't hurt other people or break the law. That's basically my public position on "diversity". Not my personal beliefs, which are none of your business. But this post isn't about "diversity". It's about disrespecting Abraham Lincoln. I have a problem with Google not honoring Abraham Lincoln on his birthday and then honoring somebody like Freddie Mercury on what would have been his 65th birthday, today.

I couldn't stand the sound of Queen and Freddie Mercury made me want to puke. I'll be up front about that. Not liking Freddie Mercury is my goddamn prerogative. But I'd be the last person to say he had no right to be the person he was. Being who you are and becoming who you want to be is what freedom is all about. Liking and not liking people, places and things is also what freedom is about.

Part of my freedom is being allowed to be sickened by other people and their behavior. I'll willingly accept the fact that I should respect people as human beings in public and treat them right if I can do and say as I please in my own goddamn home and in my private life. So, don't think for one goddamn fucking minute that my believing that people have a right to basically do as they please as long as they don't hurt anyone or break the law is any kind of support for anyone's lifestyle. Support your own goddamn lifestyle. If you don't "fit it", that's your fucking problem. Don't make it mine.

So, before any of you touchy assholes out there think I give a shit about Freddie Mercury's sexual preference, pull your heads out of your own asses for a minute and listen to what this blog post is really about. I do have personal opinions and public ones and that doesn't make me phony. It shows you that I can be myself and respect everyone at the same time. Being a good citizen is a lot easier than you think. Give it a try before you die.

That's right, this post is about Google disrespecting one of the greatest human beings to have ever lived, Abraham Lincoln, by not even mentioning his birthday this past February 12th, or the year before that, and then honoring a freaky, self-centered dandy like Freddie Mercury for once having been alive by commissioning a special Google Doodle.

Abe Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, helped change the course of American history — and our global culture as well — and he was murdered for his efforts. On the other hand, Queen lead singer Freddie Mercury never did anything for anybody else. His mercurial rise to fame as a shock-rock singer (pardon the pun) was undeserved, as far as I'm concerned, and his life was all about him, not about any kind of service to others. On top of that, Freddie Mercury killed himself because he couldn't control his own sexual urges. How in the hell that can be any point of honor is a total mystery to me and one I may never solve.

Yeah. Talk about misplaced priorities. How Google can justify honoring a libertine while turning their backs on a man who chose to liberate people is a shock and an insult I just couldn't keep to myself. Post edited 4-17-13 to make it clearer and myself clearer to everyone.

Sam on Hell

No, this isn't me talking about people in my personal life. I have no personal life and this isn't about anybody's personal life except Sam Kinison's personal life. So, if he wanted to air his dirty laundry in public, I'll watch and laugh my goddamn ass off. So, if you don't like me (Ted O'Hooey, who else?) or Sam Kinison or caustic humor, what the hell are you doing here? You little fucking snoops. This blog is fictitious humor. So, like it or lump it. Or just fuck off.

Psychic Pshit Psucks

Psychics are nothing but a bunch of goddamn frauds who eat and sell shit for a living because they're too fucking lazy to get real jobs. Whenever I see an ad somewhere for one of those worthless shit-sucking, bottom-feeding psychics, it makes me wish this touchy-feely world of ours would wise the fuck up about these Luciferian assholes and ban these creepy dark-side-serving charlatans from making their dumb-fuck sales pitches. That won't make them go away but it'll certainly put a choke hold on their ill-gotten gain.

I had a dream the other night about a weak-willed guy who paid one of these ass quacks way too much of his hard-earned money for a goddamn psychic reading and then when he got nothing but predictable lying-ass bullshit in return, he shot the flim-flam fucker and burned the fucker's house down. Christ, it was refreshing not to have a goddamn nightmare for a change.

Then, just last night, I had another dream that the sorry-ass, pantywaist dead psychic's client got run over by a bus and became the roadkill piece of shit he really was. Proof of sorry-ass life. Proof of what happens when a butt-fucked mind meets a mind-fucker like an online psychic.

Well, you know where this is going. Yep. Fuck psychics and fuck all the assholes who take a piece of that shit pie by aiding and abetting the butt-fucking psychics who cheat and rob the butt-fucked public on a regular fucking basis.

They're even worse than the goddamn asswipes who try to sell you that vampire shit. Jesus, just about any redneck asshole from just about anywhere knows that vampire stories are nothing but dark shit for stupid, creepy dark-minded kids. Nasty poop pabulum for youngsters to swallow while the soul-less vendors of this creepy shit prepare doggie bags for Switzerland and The Caymans. Fuck them.

So, add psychics to that growing, dark-ass list. And, while you're at it, add all those vampire lovers to that towering turd pile, too. Their sorry-ass souls aren't worth saving. At least I'm not going to break into a sweat anymore about all the lost souls on this stupid planet. Earth is a goner, just like Mars.

OK, then, until I get good and ticked off again, have a great fall. Or, have a great spring if you're from the southern hemisphere. And, hey, don't let the bedbugs or the vampires or the goddamn psychics bite you. But, if they do, bite the fuckers back.

Chicken Little Countdown

Lousy London Catches L. A. Fever

I once entertained the notion of traveling to England and visiting London, for starters. I thought I'd like to see Buckingham Palace and watch Big Ben strike noon on the Parliament Building. I wanted to sip dark beer in a real English pub and throw darts and laugh and pal around with some interesting blokes. I wanted to ogle some English birds who looked like they belonged on the old Benny Hill TV show. I wanted to eat fish and chips. I thought it would be exhilarating to see Piccadilly Circus and Trafalgar Square and gaze upon the Statue of Lord Nelson. I wanted to see Abbey Road without The Beatles on it.

But not now. No, I'd rather go to Paris and be insulted by a bell hop who hates me because I'm an American. I'd rather have soup spilled on me in Sarajevo because they don't like my accent . Yeah, I'd rather do those things than risk my life in London because English youths like to make their problems everyone's problem. Jumpin' Jesus, I'd rather go to Cleveland on a dog day afternoon and watch the Indians lose to Tampa Bay and I'd rather have a fucking pigeon shit on me than do that.

You bet. In the wake of the recent riots in the London area, I've lost all my desire to not only see London but to see the U.K. period. I'd rather go to Vladivostok and take a slow boat to China. I'd rather ride a rickshaw in downtown Bangkok. Hell, I'd rather pull a fucking rickshaw in downtown Bangkok than be found dead in a car in downtown London because some young asswipe with shit for brains is too fucking lazy to contact his representative in the House Of Commons over his goddamn beef with the British government.

I'd rather be robbed in Tijuana where you fucking expect to be robbed than be waylaid by marauding London youths because they're too fucking lazy to vote or campaign for their particular causes. Or because they're just to goddam mean to be alive. I'd rather eat Baklava in Athens while trying not to be kidnaped before I'd watch hooded Cockney punks kick in shop doors and steal TV sets because they don't like this or that or anything else.

Hell, I'd just rather stay home. When rioters try to take over a city here in the States, we club the fuckers, arrest them and sometimes even shoot them. It's what they fucking deserve.

Quebec

I like summer but when it gets above 85 degrees I start to get in a bad mood, y'know? Yeah, that's right, on top of my already foul personality. Glad I said it before you did.

Anyway, it's so hot today that I wanted to recall a really neat childhood memory about Quebec, Canada. Yeah, "neat". Just like "WASP" baby-boomer Diane Keaton said in that pathetic-piece-of-neurotic-Woody-Allen-shit movie Annie Hall. The word that made paintywaist "Alvie Singer" jump all over her in a fucking hissy fit because she used it. Yeah, I said the WASP word, and for obvious reasons. That's right, it's a horrible 1960's acronym mouthed by racists and bigots and then glibly used oh-so-casually by WASP-hating Woody Allen (in the guise of the pathetic, neurotic, piece-of-shit Alvie Singer).

But what I heard and saw was what I think is the real Woody Allen. In Annie Hall, Woody Allen showed us all just how hateful he really is toward anyone who isn't just like him. Fucking redneck. WASP means White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Now tell us, Woody, which of those words bothers you the most? Probably all of them. Well, fuck Woody Allen. Little hissy-fit twerp. Every time I want to say the word "neat" I'm momentarily mentally blocked by whiner Woody Allen's racist, snide remark. Little fucker. Neat. Neat. Neatneatneatneatneatneatneatneatfuckingneat. S i g h.

Yeah, "neat" basically means "cool" to us baby boomers. Cool. Nifty. Neat. Yeah, I like the word "neat". I think it's neat as hell. Christ. Now I'm way off the goddamn track here. Just because I like to use the word "neat". Who cares what hateful people think of me for using a word I like?

Anyway (back on track), I figured that there'd be a lot of snobs out there who wouldn't like the way I pronounce Quebec. Like Kwee-Beck. The American way. So, then I decided to tell the story on video. That's right, so you could actually hear the American English pronunciation of the Canadian province of Québec. I know damn well the Canadians and the French pronounce it "Ke-beck" and I have no problem whatsoever with that. That's the French pronunciation. That's the original, genuine article there. But, I'm not French or Canadian. I'm an American from Pennsylvania's Allegheny Plateau Region. I say Kwee-freakin'-Beck. All right? Get over it.

Anyway, as I was telling the story, I could just see you uppity snobs squirming and pointing your fingers and laughing your hateful butts off. So, I cut the damn thing short. But not before I added a little something extra. And, yeah, I forgot to use the word "neat" in the video! Can you fucking believe it? Well, some day I'll making another fucking video about Quebec and all I'll say about it is "Neat!", over and over and over again, for two or three goddamn minutes. That'll show that fucking Woody Allen that Annie Hall isn't the only American who says, "Neat!".

Face Off

Getting Ticked

Ticked

Totally Ticked Off

When I'm not on video, these are the only three pictures you'll see of me. Their meanings are shown above, from left to right. Too bad I lost the post about Delta Airlines and Saudi Arabia and the post about the pat-down of that 95-year-old mother in Texas. Oh, well, I'm sure I can find more to piss and moan about in the months to come. There's a lot of shit to piss and moan about and somebody's gotta do it.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

Ted O'Hooey, here. I'm an old crank who used to have a website and by the time I got around to posting a welcome video there all my posts mysteriously disappeared. And I have no copies of them. Then the video page appeared with video and no audio. Then the video disappeared. Then I disappeared.

I reappeared today at Blogger, a refugee from the Illuminati. Those goddam Illuminati pricks hate hicks from places like Pennsylvania more than anybody because we're not supposed to know shit from Shinola and when we figure anything out the bastards pull the plug on us. They just assumed we're nothing but a bunch of hateful rednecks who like to whine and cry. Well, unfortunately, some of us are. But not me. No, I see a lot of unnecessary shit happening out there and it ticks me off. So, I piss and moan out loud about it.

Hey, you'll never see any "X-Rated" material on this blog. I have about as much tolerance for that crap as I do for real crap. That term ought to insult adults everywhere. Like being an "adult" means you don't have any thoughts above your waist. Better stow that attitude before you get here or you'll just waste your time and mine. But you will encounter some adult language here, especially when I'm spouting off about the shit in this world that nobody has to put up with. Or when I embed a video by someone else and they're spouting off about the shit this world tries to feed you, just so a bunch of privileged assholes can make a lousy, goddamn buck.

All right, then. Now you know that you will encounter some very strong language every now and then. You can take that to the bank. When you're as old and cranky and as ticked off as me, watching your P's and Q's is not high on your bucket list. If you don't like my P's and Q's, hit the road. (I hate using an apostrophe with Ps and Qs because it's improper grammar but hardly anybody knows that an apostrophe implies "possession" or "belonging to", not the plural of any word).

Just like the word kidnaped. Most people spell it wrong. If the accent is on the first syllable, then you don't double the consonant in the second syllable. But, if the accent is on the second syllable, then you do double the ending consonant. Thus: kidnaped. Thus: occurred. That's American English as opposed to British English. The British double the ending consonants on such words but Americans do not. Get used to it. Even Blogger's "spell checker" has it wrong. Limeys must have written it. Hey! If they can call us "Yanks" we can call them limeys. Get over it. Christ.

So, this was supposed to be my welcome video for my website — which is now just a bad memory — and it'll have to do as my welcome video for my new blog here at Blogger, as well. Why don't I do a new video? Because I don't feel like it. I'm like George Patton in that respect. I don't like paying for the same real estate twice. So, either tune in the video or don't. It's no skin off my ass either way.

By the way, I'll be tinkering with this blog anytime I get the urge so it has my personal touch all over it, including a new, personalized header. So, hey, don't say you haven't been warned.