Shit News with Turd Pyle

My, how accommodating. Now that the FAA, run by lizards, is catering to the spoiled-ass wireless culture at the expense of air traffic safety — and in the face of all commonsense — we know who to blame when the airliners start crashing into each other and falling on us. We get to blame EVERYBODY except those of us who know better. But, oh my god yes, I forgot, every single passenger who boarded every single plane will be a good little boy or girl and turn off his or her wireless device each and every time that every single plane drops below 10,000 feet. Not on your life. Now that's some shit.

Turd Pyle is a guest poster at Ticked Off Ted. Thanks, Turd. Nobody rats out the lying-ass news and the shitheads who make it like you do.

Obama TV: MSNBC is Now "Flushable" News

Since 2012 MSNBC, the Mostly Shit Now Broadcasting Company, has been nothing but a pagan altar for Obama worshipers as well as a venue for creative hatred, specializing in anti-white-male racism and Republican Party bashing, in the name of The Obama White House and The Democratic Party. At MSNBC, you get more lies for your money and more worthless shit per minute than on any other fake-ass "news" show on American television today. And there are plenty of them.

MSNBC is actually Obama TV, featuring Obama's Girls, white-hating mouthpieces determined to get your goat and to fuck you up the ass with flagrant, in-your-face, "Fuck You America" verbal vandalism that always goes unpunished. Until now. What passes for "news" and current events on this Microsoft and NBC "love child" is more editorializing and commentary than anything else. And most of it is pretty goddamn nasty. On Obama TV, some unwitting GOP politician or Republican elected official gets sacrificed to the Bwana Obama God every fucking day by these "high priestesses of hate". It's enough to make you puke.

At the top of the fake-news-anchor "Showgirl" list are the conceited motormouth rabble rouser and enthusiastic GOP-basher Alex Wagner, the White-hating Rag Mop Bobblehead Melissa Harris-Perry, angry militant lesbian mouthpiece Rachel Maddow, whose vociferous and verbose anti-establishment venom and hateful body language attacks the very core of American traditional values and, last but not least, that unbelievably pathetic, mealy-mouthed, dyke-whipped, super pussy Chris Matthews, who's way too old to be such a delusional homo about the real America; about the "checks-and-balances" aspect of, not only real government, but real politics in action; about real economics; and about real life in general. The real world.

So, if you like to see and hear hate so thick you can taste it and don't mind being fed lying-ass shit so foul you can smell it, and you absolutely cannot distinguish between information and disinformation, and you love to wallow in a great big stinking lie, every goddamn fucking day, then you can bet your worthless ass that MSNBC Obama TV is the place for you. In fact, you, the hateful viewer, made MSNBC what it is today: The official Obama White Black House medium for lies, disinformation and hate. You sorry piece of shit.

This Public Service Announcement and Equal Opportunity Voice of The Truth is provided by veteran truth-seeker and aging, white, heterosexual American male, Tic Tickedofferson. And, if you don't like it, then go the fuck away. It's no goddamn skin off our asses.

Hey, Snoop THAT!

OK, Ted Ted,

Well, I know I don't know nothin' but I still think they're Chinee. The aliens, I mean. They're all Chinee, just messin' with us. Hell, I got nothin' against the Chinee. I like Chinee food and firecrackers and tea and all that. So, there you go. Are we done yet?

Ronnie 3 Ronnie

Hey, Snoop THIS!

Hey Ronnie, you dumb ol' beef-eatin' redneck prick,

Hey, bud! Yeah, I just found out that those big-ass lizards that really dumb-ass people are calling the Illuminati hate people but that they use us for food. Christ, what shit. Hey, Ronnie, the last time you ate a piece of fried chicken did you remind yourself how much you hate those little two-legged fuckers? Of course you didn't. That's the fucking point. But, hey, all this Reptilian shit is enough to make me go vegetarian. As a matter of fact, I'd have gone vegetarian a long time ago but we big-ass two-leggeds seem to need animal protein in order to survive. Unless you're a 90-pound bolemic coed who really gets off being skinny. I like my women a lot older (like 30 years older) and with some goddamn meat on them. Oh, Christ, here we go again. Being obsessed with meat. Shit, now I'm getting off the track again. You know me.

First of all, let's forget about those fucking little Benedict Arnold pricks Ed Snowden and Brad Manning. They "made their own beds" so "let them lie in them". I love cliches. You can use them when you don't feel like thinking and it's perfectly OK. Fuck, yes. Everybody's doing it. And I've already tossed that George Zimmerman-Trayvon Martin TV ratings deal out the fucking window and into the street where nasty racist shit belongs It doesn't even belong there but those fuckers aren't going to give up hating. Not for all the money in the world. That racial trump card crap actually belongs in the gutter, where the hateful dregs of humanity like to prowl. Fuck that shit. I've got a life to live. Not much of a life, but a life nevertheless. And so do you. And so do they. But they'e not interested in living unless they can fuck with other people. Like that shit is free. Dumb fucks. But, Christ in a can, here I go getting off the fucking track again.

Oh, yeah, check out the Reptilian shit on YouTube. Jesus, what creepy shit. There sure are a lot of people in this world who like to wallow in gross shit. Reptile people who eat our kids. Jesus. And how 'bout that fucking Pleiadian shit, huh? Worse than the Gray shit (those fuckheads spell it Grey like they were all from Limey-ass Land or something). What the fuck do Limeys know about anything? They can't even speak English without looking and sounding like somebody's using a cattle prod on them and making them talk. They hate to move their goddamn lips, especially that stiff upper one, but those fuckers love to tell us how it is. Don't they, now?

But, hey Ronnie, we free-willed Earthlings don't have to worry about a goddamn thing because we'll be saved by the fucking Andromedans. Jesus God. I'm so fucking relieved and enraptured it makes me want to run around town buck naked throwing rose petals at everyone while singing "We Are The World". Yeah, those 4D fuckheads are pretending to be higher-level beings who have the right to offer us 3D peons two choices in the near future. Stay here or go with them. What kind of fucking free will has only two fucking choices? Huh? What fucking shit. Christ, I'll tell ya, Ronnie, there are more fucking liars on YouTube then there are on TV. I swear to Christ. Can you believe that malarkey? But, hey, that reminds me. We've been lied to way before YouTube even existed. That ol' lying Yankee Benedict Arnold, Stevie Spielberg, will have his fucking judgment day somewhere out there, won't he, now? DO-DEE-DO-DEE-DAAAAAA! Jesus, what fucking crap.

And, yeah, check out that Peggy Kane, that so-called Pleiadian spirit guide trapped in that dumpy Earth woman body. What a ruse. I think that cow gives sour milk, if you get my drift. Nobody but us knows that she's nothing but a Reptilian shill. Hell, yes. She makes all those YouTube viewers scared as shit and then the Reptilains feed off their fearful fucking emotions. What a fucking set up! Yeah, she cooks her fellow men and women and serves them up at a ripe 98.6 degrees. Her reward is getting lots and lots of undeserved attention. Like any other psycho bitch. Psychic, my ass. But, hey, you can't beat a parlay like that if you really hate people and are a whiz at pretending you love them instead. What a fucking racket. I hate liars. That's right, Harry, that means little redneck rats like you who steal $75 worth of crushed aluminum cans out of my garage instead of recycling them, like we agreed upon, for HALF the money, not all of it. It took me two fucking years to crush and bag those cans and exactly one fucking minute for a worthless little piece of human shit like you to rip me off. And then you think you're going to knock on my door in the fall so you can come in to my house to drink whiskey in my basement and pretend to clean my furnace? BETTER THINK AGAIN, you salamander fuck. Hell, these fucking goddamn liars are our biggest global-threat problem, not the fucking aliens. I'll bet there aren't too many motherships that can withstand an ICBM barrage. If we can just get Russia and China to aim at them instead of us, we'll have that lyin'-ass alien shit cleaned up in no time.

And, oh yeah, I still avoid The Hallmark Channel like the fucking plague. Always have. Every fucking holiday there's some goddamn family tragedy. Christ I hate being sad at holiday time. What the fuck? You know, like the sorry sad sacks Santa forgets and broken homes and Moms out on their own. Families that cry and hug and cry some more. Jesus Christ. That sorry sad shit doesn't help anybody. In fact, it feeds the dark side of this sad-ass world. Then there's the Lifetime channel where women with low self esteem go to submerge their sick psyches into preposterous stories about betrayal and family horror. Whining, crying, ball-busting bitches all over America are making those fucking Reptilians stronger and stronger whenever they cry and hate and and point their fingers and accuse all those nasty pricks who did all those horrible things to all those innocent "women's women". Lez Bud wannbes, if you ask me. Innocent, my ass. Then they watch that fucking Bridezillas show on the We channel. No wonder American women are so fucked up. They watch too much TV. The only channel that compares to Lifetime for snaring stupid man-hating bitches is USA. Couch potato hags all over America get their jollies when men go to the slammer. SLAM! Another hateful hag gets off.

But none of that sick shit's enough to make me watch that fucking G4, or Esquire, whenever they get around to changing the name. Most American men watch shit on TV that I have no interest in. Being a big fucking deal. Treating women like meat while pretending to be God's gift to women. What shit. Being the best at anything and everything. Not caring about anything, as if that bullshit trait is a fucking virtue. Not shaving, not bathing and wearing dark-ass, bad-ass clothes that supposedly puts all the young bitches in heat (and the homos) and all the regular men on edge with jealousy. Christ, Ron, what a bunch of fucking crap. Isn't it, now? Yeah, like hunting deer on OLN while dressed up in those stupid Ghillie suits that make them look like goofy, fool-ass morons. They look like two-legged porcupines for Trick-Or-Treat. Or else cheesy, cornball aliens from the old Star Trek TV show. They look like fucking idiots. Or else they're watching yet another flock of NASCAR whore cars go around in a circle for hours. No wonder American men are so brain dead. But those shitty "men's channels" are still better than AMC. At least most of the shows on Esquire (G4), OLN and Speed are about living people, not the fucking dead. Jesus.  

Yo, Ron. Say high to all those snooping pricks and bitches on the dark side of the moon. You know how to do say "hi" don't you, Ron? Just go outside and point your middle finger up at the sky. There you go. Yeah, yeah, you're Ronnie 3 now but only to yourself. Think you can remember that? One more thing: let's not forget the memory of our poor little calico cats. Those Google Adsense pricks will tear each other new assholes scrambling for the right cat ad to tack onto our Gmail messages. Did I ever tell you that I stopped using Adsense when they started running video gaming ads on my blog that said "Join the Orgy Now"? No fucking lie. This world is a goner. The Reptilian thing might be true. That's right, that orgy cartoon shit grossed me out. Grossed me right out. But, oh yeah, I left my cat's pooped and peed litter box in the hall closet. Every time I open that stinking closet door it reminds me of how glad I am the little fucker's dead.

Ted

(Yeah, Ronnie, I'm still Ted, not Ted 1 or Ted 2. I'm the only goddamn fucking Ted you need to worry about. Or else start worrying about that goddamn Wiffle Ball bat with your name on it. All right, then. And, no, nobody knows we really don't have calico cats. Mine's a big-ass orange-and-white and yours is a little gray tiger-stripe. And they're both doing just fine. But keep that shit to yourself because we're mucking with "The G" here.)

Art Park: Gravity

Don't worry, I'm not done pissin' and moanin' yet about all kinds of shit from my own shit files. But I like these little art breaks. This one will give me a little break from all the shit surrounding that "Flyman" video I put up the other day. That's right, don't talk to me about "Flyman". Come to think of it, don't talk to me about flies. I hate flies. Flies eat shit. If you see a fly outside on a hot summer day, for example, you can bet your sweet ass that it just came off a hot turd somewhere. So don't talk to me about flies. And a Flyman is even worse. I let that one use my little video studio here because I felt sorry for him. Poor bastard.

And don't ask me if this is what gravity looks like. How the hell should I know what gravity looks like? Why would I care what gravity looks like? I'm more concerned about what gravity does than what it looks like. In fact, thanks to gravity, I fall down somewhere at least once a week. Usually in front of other people. Jeezus, if you ask me, I think that's what gravity is for. To humiliate you in public. Whenever it's not making you fall on your ass in private. So don't talk to me about gravity. Unless you want to discuss the idea of using gravity as a propellant.

What do I mean "as a propellant"? Just ask any Gray. That's right, one of those goddamn black-almond-eyed bubble-headed alien bastards that Hollywood movie makers try to sell to us as cute little, harmless friends from outer space. What lying-ass shit. Fuck Hollywood. Goddamn Judas bastards. And fuck the Grays. If you want enemies, I give you the fucking Grays or any other bunch of fucking E.B.E.s. On the other hand, if you want to know all you can know about using gravity as a propellant, just ask a goddamn Gray. They're everywhere. If you can just train your eyes to see them.

Ha! Maybe then you'll be able to see gravity, too. Then you can ask one of those fucking Gray Mengele ass-reamers why they abduct children and do sick, unconscionable, unforgivable things to them. And if you can still stomach their evil, stinking presence after you hear that shit, maybe they'll tell you about Element 115. That's the "propeller" you use when you harness gravity as a "propellant".

And I'll bet you fuckers thought the only thing I knew how to do was to piss and moan. And, no, I didn't learn about gravity from any fucking Gray. The only thing I learned from them was how to scream. The Grays know that it's in their best goddamn interests to steer clear of me because I will fucking kill them if they even think about fucking with me anymore.

And fuck Eisenhower and all the pussy perverts in the U.S. Government who thought they had a right to turn me over to the fucking goddamn Grays in the 1950s and 1960s. Your cosmic law judgment day is just around the corner and you damn well deserve it and there is no escape. The living cosmos will take you out and I want to watch.

That's right. I'm not a terrified nine-year-old boy anymore with the strength of a fly to fight off the Grays and the perverted human beings who helped them. I'm a grown man now with the will and the means to send their iniquitous Gray asses to fucking Kingdom Come. And here some of you fucking rat bastards in the United Arab Emirates and in certain places of the U.S. thought I was just some old chickenshit pussy. A lot you know. 

Shit

Don't ask me, I just work here. Click here for information.

Author's Note 11-07-13: This video was uploaded by Michael Casher to Blogger. You can't watch this video at YouTube because it does not exist there. That is another Google redirect which is nothing more than a lie to get you to watch other videos at YouTube instead of the uploaded video on this blog post. This new uploaded format at Blogger was introduced in November 2013 by Google without notice to anyone.

Cyber Monday, My Ass

Why don't you ad rats just call it what it really is? Black Friday + 3. Some people might get the wrong impression and think that "Cyber Monday" is some new kind of way to get all community oriented and quiver all over from the sheer touchy-feeliness of the whole thing. Since 2005 a lot of people have been fooled into thinking that they're going to "reach out and touch" others online, just like the old Bell Telephone gimmick from the 20th Century. Reach out and touch, my ass. The only thing good about Cyber Monday is that when people shop in droves online they don't stampede and trample other shoppers or store employees to death. So, at least there's that.

That's right, Cyber Monday, my ass. What it is, you dumb asses, is just another way for suckers like you to empty your wallets and your bank accounts and to max out your credit cards in order to buy shit online that you probably don't need and only want because you think it's such a bargain. Man, did they ever see you suckers coming. "Never give a sucker an even break because there's one born every minute nanosecond." That's their motto.

Shit Mail

The following is a "public service announcement" from Ted O'Hooey. That's right, public service. At this stage of his ornery life, nothing less could get him to endure the agony of facing a web cam again. So, if you don't like the idea of a pissin' and moanin' public service announcement, then take your mouse and hit the road. It's no skin off our asses.